It’s the thing that keeps us all ticking isn’t it? Our unyielding desire to be as famous as Miley Cyrus’ eternally twerking hiney. We wanna make everything we do go VIRAL. It’s why we were all born. Right?
So with that universal need in mind, we’ve decided to hook up with 10 celebrities who will give us the inside scoop on how to free ourselves from any kind of privacy or self respect and in turn become universally famous.
STEP 1: By Jack McFarland.
Hi everyone. Ok my lesson is all about language. DRAMATIC language! Hellllooo! You gotta let loose bitches. Don’t say shit like – “This person made toast, and liked it. Tasted like cherry chapstick.” No fuck that shizzazzle. You gotta jazz that shit up. You gotta write shit like “Man wearing edible panties, and only 2 minutes to live, unleashes fire on his food – YOU UGLY MOFO’S WON’T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!”
You gotta emotionally cripple the person before they even read your shit!
Harrison Ford teaches lesson 2 – YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!