You wanna take your kids shopping? Ok. But let this be a warning to you!!!
1. Papa warned me. I wouldn't listen. I just wouldn't listen.
2. I actually find shopping a very relaxing experience. Don’t know why my parents come back so frazzled. They’ve obviously got issues.
3. Open the door. I dare you.
4. Demons I summon you. Come forth and destroy this HYPERMARKET HELLHOLE.
5. Ok theyre heading over to the pointy bra area. On the count of three, lets run.
6. Go on without me guys. I'm done.
7. I learned the art of camouflage back in ‘Nam. Now excuse me while I nap.
8. I warned you. I said I didn't wana go. Now you must pay.
9. If I get evicted, thats no problem. I've got a secret hideaway upstairs no-one knows about.
10. Maybe if I count to 1 million it will all end. 1 Mississippi…2 Mississippi…
11. My doctor told me not to stress my lower transversospinalis muscles…ahh who am I kidding, I hate shopping. If she wants to bring me, I'll make her suffer.
12. Some people like to sleep on goose feathers. Me. I like goose liver.
13. Thats where she gets all that extra milk?!?!
14. I saw some other little dude do this at the top of this page – he made it look better than it is. Home now, please.
15. You can be my new Mom and Sister… if you promise me you'll never take me shopping. It's my only condition.